Somewhere around the middle of September, the self-proclaimed patron saints of democracy in the Government of National Unity (GNU) convened for a fleeting moment of self-indulgence, basking in the glow of their inflated egos as they pored over the so-called “progress” of their collaborative farce.
By Themba Khumalo
Just a tad more than a fortnight ago, the leaders of the Government of National Unity (GNU) gathered in a show of camaraderie and self-congratulation to muse over the riveting question of how their so-called unity is faring.
It has been three months since a motley crew of ten parties, in a fit of optimism laced with arrogance, signed a Statement of Intent—because nothing screams progress like a piece of paper promising to work together while the country spirals into chaos.
Truly, the epitome of political synergy!
In a grand spectacle of disingenuousness, the parties hypocritically pledged allegiance to a set of high-minded principles, such as respecting the Constitution and upholding the rule of law, all while pretending to be committed to accountability, transparency, integrity, and the ever-elusive concept of good governance. They hastily concocted a so-called common minimum programme, which they hailed as the magical and long-awaited cornerstone of our democracy – the GNU.
At their inaugural Cabinet Lekgotla in mid-July, a dangerously ambitious and eager-to-please ragtag crew of Ministers, Deputy Ministers, and assorted bureaucratic drones gathered to cobble together a list of priority actions that would, in theory, breathe some life into this minimum programme.
Since the grand reveal of these priorities during the Opening of Parliament Address on 18 July 2024, these self-styled leaders have been said to be working diligently. One can only wish this were the case. Wouldn’t it be delightful if ministers actually laboured as if their very reputations hinged on the successful completion of their duties?
Our illustrious head of state enlightened us with the revelation that for a handful of Ministers and Deputy Ministers, their stint in the Executive is a brand-new adventure, like a cat discovering a cucumber. Some have even found it a bit of a stretch to adapt as if they were suddenly thrust into a Shakespearean play without a script. He assured us that, with the unwavering backing of their departments—because that is what they are paid for—they have all hit the ground running, or at least tripping over their own feet.
As the volume of their fabrications escalates, these Ministers and Deputy Ministers are supposedly making progress in tackling the country’s myriad crises.
It is simply preposterous—if we can manage to ignore the glaring reality—that these Executive members have taken it upon themselves to feign the existence of a harmonious Cabinet as if they are not just a gaggle of power-hungry individuals in a never-ending game of one-upmanship.
Despite their diverse party backgrounds, we are fed the ludicrous notion that they are diligently pursuing the grand GNU programme. The notes from this orchestra of deception claim they are working together in a spirit of cooperation to serve the interests of the South African people. How utterly charming!
It is almost comical how we are expected to swallow the notion that these honourable members have miraculously and fully grasped their roles in advancing the so-called strategic priorities of the 7th administration.
These priorities, they insist, are as straightforward as a labyrinth—an unwavering pledge to promote inclusive growth and job creation. They prattle on about their supposed dedication to alleviating poverty and addressing the skyrocketing cost of living. And let us not overlook their lofty goal of building a capable, ethical, and developmental state.
Ministers and deputy ministers, in a masterclass of deception, are said to be focused not on their party’s agendas but on the grand, collective mission of nation-building, as if we are all just too gullible to question this farce.
Please, pinch my toes and check if I’m a jelly doughnut, as we’ve been mercilessly bombarded with the absurd claim that the party leaders are united in their belief that the GNU is off to a fantastic and record-breaking start. They truly seem to think the GNU is functioning like a dream and that every participant is dutifully playing a constructive role. What a charming delusion.
It gives me no pain at all to shatter the delusions of these enthusiastic boys and girls in the GNU cabinet, but they are staring down a long, treacherous road ahead. A couple of hugs and empty agreements on strategies that have no real impact are as useful as a chocolate teapot to desperate citizens.
They really ought to pull their heads out of their self-absorbed political rear ends and take a good, hard look at the brutal reality that the populace is grappling with!